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9/3/07
No me to focus on breathing
I was at Wat Tum Sua again
today. The weather was nice, cool and windy. No rain. There were
very few people at the top. When I first got to the top and took off
my shoes to go up onto the platform, there was a young monk sitting
in some shade in the corner. I recognized him as one I'd seen at the
top before. He was meditating. I have honestly not seen even 1 monk
meditating in Thailand at a wat before except at Wat Pah Nanachat
and Suan Mokkh. I looked out at the mountains and he came over to me
and offered me a soy milk box which I took with thanks. I spoke to
him in Thai and he was extremely shy to speak, but wanted to speak
it seemed. He was from Suratthani area and had been at the Wat
Thamsuea for about a year. He was 21 years old.
Anyway, so I went to sit and meditate and found a
place on the ground. I sat for maybe an hour and had varying degrees
of concentration and mindlessness (vernlessness) as there was no
vern to watch the breath. I had to focus on the breath to bring a
vern back into the picture. Odd to read this, I know, but,
that is the experience. There is nothing there to watch the
breath... no "me" so to speak. If I wasn't trying to force something
to be there to watch the breath - there is just nothingness. I am
aware of things around... the air, the sounds, etc. If I open my
eyes - I can see without a problem... and yet, still - there is no
center point for where "i" am. It's like no "me". Anyway, the
video might explain better... I filmed as I walked down the steps,
showing me at first - then showing the steps.
Walking down steps at Wat Thamsuea video
> (.wmv about 4MB)
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